Monkeyships Theory.
Steve explain what a monkeyship is. It’s any relationship that becomes dysfunctional because both partners are struggling for control.
And the theory? Simply that most (maybe all) relationship problems are monkeyship problems, since at one time or another all relationships turn, well, monkeyish
The First Paradox of Control:
“The more control you need, the less control you have.”
The Second Paradox of Control:
The more you try to control somebody, the more you force them to control you back.
The more you try to control somebody, the more you force them to control you back.
This is the interpersonal version of the First Paradox of Control, which we explained here several weeks ago: “The more control you need, the less control you have.”
This Second Paradox grows out of a fairly obvious fact of human nature:
We all want control, and we all resent being controlled by others.
